February 1-- After being arrested and charged for disorderly conduct this weekend at local Roller USA, we get and exclusive interview with Mobsav Man and self proclaimed "genius" or more recently "The One Man Riot". We pried at him to answer for his newfangled outrageous behavior.
Mobsav Man, you were recently spotted being carried out of Roller USA by local authorities for drunk and disorderly behavior. Can you explain to us what happened that night?
Ah, sure Jeff. That never happened.
OK, my name is Evan not Jeff by the way. And, we have the police report right here. It sates, as witnessed by numerous people, you were skating around drunk and you were clumsily knocking into patrons before you claimed, "You f*cking kids are f*ckin up my vibe!" And then you began purposely pushing children down to the floor. At this point, you proceeded to vomit into said "Wack-a-Mole" game machine. When confronted about this from employee you exclaimed, "Chill the f*ck out chief, that game sucks anyway!" and then threw numerous coupons for 1/2 off pizza and 10% off car-washes at him. Many of which, hitting the employee in the face. Before authorities arrived you were demanding the Roller D.J. play "This is your Night" and when authorities did finally arrive you began to run away, or more litterally skate away from them. All while, coercing the Roller D.J. into playing the song each time you passed him before you were finally subdued on your 4th or 5th lap. Is there anything you would like to say for yourself?
Yeah Jeff, ya got me. OK. I apologize. I'm sorry alright. I'm sorry it got way too real at that roller disco that night. You know I just put on my platforms and got way too excited. Then, the next thing you know I'm about 6 or 7 Cape Coders deep. It gets weird sometimes. It happens. I ended up ruining everyone's nice night at that roller disco and in the process got a life time ban at one of my favorite places.
Following the interview, Mobsav Man promised to make a donation to the Roller USA's charity of choice but until then had to, "move some stuff around maybe sell some sh*t" and until then, "everyone can just chill the f*ck out. Alright?"
---Evan Tucker Mobsav.com
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